April Dunce of the Month

Sorry for not getting the Dunce of the month for April in on time.  I was in St. Louis attending the memorial breakfast for the officers killed in the line of duty.

This is a doozy and comes to us from a McDonald’s in Ottawa, Canada.  This month’s dunce stole/smuggled over 80 pounds of chicken nuggets secreted in his anal cavity.  Corrections Officers tell me they refer to the keister carry as the “inmates suitcase.”

His employer became suspicious after noticing the missing items during the offenders shift over a three month period.  After being searched a number of times and not finding the purloined food a covert surveillance camera was set up in the locker area.

Sure enough, he placed the items in a condom and, with the help of a quantity of lubricant he secreted the items in has butt.  McDonald’s management figures between 80-100 pounds of the nuggets were taken.

Our dunce was arrested and charged with misdemeanor theft.

Our Cops Perspective reporter in Ottawa contacted several of the folks who consumed the nuggets.  The comment was..”Man, those things sure tasted funny.”



About Ken Dye

Having grown up in Missouri, Ken Dye graduated from Northeastern Missouri State University (now Truman State University) and served his country. When he returned to St. Louis, he joined the St. Louis County Police Department and served in the tactical operations unit, as an undercover narcotics and homicide detective, and with the intelligence bureaus. After 13 years, he moved to Chicago to work with the Illinois Criminal Justice Authority. He is the author of three books: two crime novels, Shadow of the Arch and Beyond the Shadow of the Arch and his new release Michael Brown, Jr. didn’t have to die, a non-fiction narrative. For more information about the author, visit www.KenJDye.com.
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