Sorry for not getting the Dunce of the month for April in on time. I was in St. Louis attending the memorial breakfast for the officers killed in the line of duty.
This is a doozy and comes to us from a McDonald’s in Ottawa, Canada. This month’s dunce stole/smuggled over 80 pounds of chicken nuggets secreted in his anal cavity. Corrections Officers tell me they refer to the keister carry as the “inmates suitcase.”
His employer became suspicious after noticing the missing items during the offenders shift over a three month period. After being searched a number of times and not finding the purloined food a covert surveillance camera was set up in the locker area.
Sure enough, he placed the items in a condom and, with the help of a quantity of lubricant he secreted the items in has butt. McDonald’s management figures between 80-100 pounds of the nuggets were taken.
Our dunce was arrested and charged with misdemeanor theft.
Our Cops Perspective reporter in Ottawa contacted several of the folks who consumed the nuggets. The comment was..”Man, those things sure tasted funny.”
STAY SAFE, BUCKLE UP AND WEAR YOUR VEST!!